Coping with Grief: Finding Comfort During the Holidays

The holiday season is painted as a time of joy and togetherness, but when you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, it can feel like everyone else got an invitation to the party except you.

Coping with grief during the holidays isn’t about forcing yourself to be cheerful—it’s about finding ways to honor your feelings and carve out space for what you need.

Let’s explore how to navigate the season with care and compassion for yourself while coping with grief.

Let Yourself Feel All the Feelings

Grief doesn’t care if it’s the holidays—it shows up uninvited, bringing sadness, anger, guilt, or even numbness.

Instead of bottling up those emotions and hoping they’ll stay quiet, give yourself permission to feel them.

Whether that means crying in the car, writing a letter to your loved one, or simply sitting in silence with your thoughts, acknowledging your feelings is a step toward healing.

It’s not about “fixing” the grief; it’s about making room for it.

Say No (And Mean It)

Holiday gatherings, parties, cookie exchanges—it’s easy to feel pressure to say “yes” to everything.

But grief is exhausting, and overcommitting can drain your emotional reserves faster than a toddler at a candy buffet.

Give yourself the gift of boundaries. If you don’t feel up to a big family dinner, let people know.

Maybe you pop in for dessert instead, or maybe you skip it entirely and watch a holiday movie in your pajamas. It’s okay to prioritize what you need.

Honor Their Memory

One way to soften the sting of loss is to weave your loved one’s memory into the season. This can be as simple or as elaborate as you want:

Light a candle in their honor.
Hang an ornament that reminds you of them.
Cook their favorite dish and share stories about them at dinner.

These rituals can help you feel connected while also giving your grief a meaningful outlet.

Lean on Your People

Grief can make you feel like you’re walking through a snowstorm alone, but you don’t have to navigate it by yourself. Share your feelings with someone who gets it—a friend, family member, or even a support group.

If opening up feels daunting, start small. Sometimes just sitting with someone and talking about a favorite memory can bring unexpected comfort. And if your grief feels too heavy to carry, consider reaching out to a therapist for extra support.

Keep It Simple

When grief has taken up residence in your heart, even the smallest holiday tasks can feel monumental.

The good news?

There’s no rule that says you have to decorate like a Hallmark movie or bake six dozen cookies for the office party.

Simplify where you can. Order takeout instead of cooking. Send digital holiday cards instead of handwritten ones. Focus on what feels manageable, and let go of the rest.

Take Care of You

Grief can be hard on your body as well as your mind.

That’s why self-care isn’t just a buzzword—it’s a necessity. Make time for rest, eat foods that nourish you (and yes, that includes the occasional holiday treat), and move your body in ways that feel good, whether that’s a walk in the snow or a gentle yoga session.

Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you’re ignoring your grief. It means you’re giving yourself the strength to face it.

Redefine the Holidays

Maybe the thought of “celebrating” feels impossible this year. That’s okay. The holidays don’t have to look like they always have.

If traditional gatherings feel too painful, create your own version of the season. Watch old movies, travel to a new place, or spend the day volunteering in your community. The goal isn’t to force joy—it’s to find moments of peace in ways that work for you.

FAQs About Coping with Grief

How to cope up with grieving?

Coping with grief means letting yourself feel the emotions, finding support from loved ones, and creating new ways to honor the person you’ve lost. It’s a process, not a one-time fix, so go easy on yourself.

What is the hardest death to grieve?

The hardest loss is deeply personal and depends on the relationship. For many, the loss of a child, partner, or sibling can be especially devastating due to the closeness of the bond.

What not to do while grieving?

Avoid suppressing your emotions, isolating yourself completely, or relying on substances like alcohol to numb the pain. Grief needs to be felt and processed, not avoided.

What are healthy grieving coping skills?

Healthy coping includes talking about your feelings, engaging in creative outlets like writing or art, practicing mindfulness, and maintaining routines that support your mental and physical health.